The Birds and the Bees - half truths and the final answer.

Coincidentally, I"m watching old episodes of Sex and The City as I type. Oddly this gets my creative juices flowing.

Rounding out the second half of our fourth grade year, I couldn't be more proud of the young lady she is becoming.

And while we've been having this conversation in stages over the last couple of years, like a puzzle, putting it together piece by piece as I didn't want to overwhelm her (or myself), the time has come...

I mean really, my own mother still hasn't had "the conversation' with me so I honestly had no idea what I would say in the end. I just knew I wanted to be the one to have these conversations with her as my best friend Nakia had" the talk" with me in the third grade and then again in the 9th.

So I recently set out to make a plan to set the stage to normalize these conversations in a matter of fact tone about body, and puberty, and sex and boys so that there was less awkwardness and she was informed in a mature and responsible (and age appropriate).

Some of the conversations we had had thus far:

The first "where do babies come from" talks.

So mommy and daddy asked God for a baby. And you (and your brother) came out of my belly. This wasn't a complete lie because we did indeed pray for a baby, and I had two C-sections. She was subsequently very upset when I recently divulged that babies often exit a women's body in a very different way.

The big B? or is it P?

We had picked up the audio version of Anne of Green Gables from the public library the summer before and it is since one of our all time favorite stories. So we were super excited to learn about the Netflix adaptation, "Anne with an E," which we completely planned our lives around watching together. If you've never read the books, or seen the Netflix, Anne at some point thinks she is dying because well.. she is bleeding from her lower half. So then I had to explain, well.. why.

She has since asked, why do all of these (uncomfortable) things happen to girls and not boys? My response: Because we are stronger.

The Research

So after some conversations with the school librarian, some friends, and the woman who does my lashes, I purchased the The Care and Keeping of You, The Body Book for Younger Girls, which I loved, first because it had girls of different races on the cover, and secondly, because it was just a very friendly book about all types of things, Hair Care, Nutrition, and Puberty among others. And I also picked up a copy It's So Amazing!: A Book about Eggs, Sperm, Birth, Babies, and Families, its kind of cartoony, also with people of different races, with illustrations including one with a couple "cuddling very closely."

The Final Answer

So when she flat out said, "Well mommy that all makes sense that women have eggs, and men (and Brodie) have sperm, but how in the world do they get inside HER body. I myself was mortified of her picturing her parents in bed together naked. Just like I am still mortified to think of my own parents in that way. Nevertheless, I pressed forward, and we talked about ALL the things..

We still read through the books in the evenings sometimes and she is curious and interested and I am there to answer any questions or just read over her shoulder... and it really is a very sweet and easy time (so far). And I'm grateful for it.

xxBH